We had an ultrasound at 5 weeks with the reproductive endocrinologist and everything was well in order so he discharged us. Meaning from now on, I will see my OB for my appointments.
We scheduled an appointment at 7 weeks and I had another one at 9 weeks. Here is our little peanut.
At 10 weeks. (OB was nice enough to check me and give me a quick ultrasound just because :)
Everything is going well so far and we are so excited to have a baby.
So we decided it was time to tell everybody. So far, only our close family knows and a few friends. So we made our announcement on social media.
We had been to the Bluebonnet trail in Texas and had someone take our picture.
Also at 10 weeks, I had a blood test to screen any possible problems like Down Syndrome and Trisomy 18 I think. This screening also gives the gender of the baby.
One week later, the nurse called me, said all my numbers were fine and so baby was fine, and she asked if I wanted to know my baby's gender. Big YESSSS.
I was at my desk at work, and she said, "You are having a GIRL"
I screamed out loud because I was so happy and then I cried.
I was so excited to tell Mike. But I did not want to do it via text or phone, so I (not) so patiently waited til the evening, I stopped by a bakery and Hobby Lobby on my way home, and I gave him this:
I told him I had found a new bakery and I had bought him a tasty cake, and asked if he wanted to see it. He said yes so I gave him the box, he opened it, looked at the cake, and he said: "cool, thanks baby." And... that was it... My jaw dropped. He had not seen the obvious. I looked at him and I said: "Are you joking??? Look at that cake again!!!"
And he did, and he realized, finally, that we are having a GIRL!!!!
We had a few names lined up for a girl:
Brooklyn
Savannah
Madison.
And also, Melody.
One night, before being pregnant, I dreamed I had a little girl named Melody, and she was in her high chair while I was feeding her. And that baby was talking to me like a grown up and I could not believe I had such a smart little girl.
I had told my dream to my husband and I said that the baby's name was Melody and I liked it. He did too.
So a few minutes after telling him we were having a girl, he came to me in the kitchen, and he said he liked MELODY the best, to which I replied: Then Melody it will be".
I sent a few scratch off cards to the family, so they could discover the gender.
It will be my parents' first granddaughter as my brother has 2 sons, and my sister has 1 son. Finally some pink!!
And then, the Anatomy scan came.
DIAGNOSTIC DAY JULY 17th 2017
This day we were not prepared for.
We had an appointment for the anatomy scan. I was 19 weeks and 4 days. Mike came with me and we were both scheduled to admire our little girl and then go back to work showing pics of how beautiful her profile is.
Well, it did not go that way.
The technician checked every organ, we got to admire her little profile, she put it all on a CD and gave us a few pictures of our daughter.
Look at those little legs crossed, just like a lady.
Then the doctor came in, started talking, and talking, and I am not sure what he was saying. He then mentioned "lemon shape" for the skull, and I was wondering why he was saying that. She looked fine. And then he said it:
"Your daughter has Spina Bifida" And I cried immediately. Because i don't know everything about it at this time, but I know it's serious.
The doctor tried to explain a little more, that she would have mobility issues, that the lesion on her back was low. That it does not really affect her brain in the sense that it does not mean intellectual impairment. So he scheduled us to see my OB right after.
Mike was trying to appease me, saying she would be alright, but honestly I did not believe him. I was so devastated. The first thing I was able to say to the doctor before he left the room was:" But I took my vitamins."
Because I had. In fact I took over the counter vitamins before we started trying to conceive. Then I took the prescription prenatals for about 6 months, religiously. Never forgetting. And now I am told that my child has Spina Bifida and I know that it is supposed to be linked with Folic Acid intake and that is one of the reasons you take prenatals when you want to conceive. So why us?
I never took a single medicine during my pregnancy, never ate anything I should not. I don't drink coffee, no alcohol either, no sodas. I was careful eating veggies, and protein and...
But no, it is nothing we did or did not do. It just happened to us. And we feel it is so unfair.
My OB repeated what the MFM said and then he said that even though we could not see it now, we are lucky because some parents get a much worse diagnosis and this is not the end of the world, and we will realize this in a few days, after we do a bit of research. He also mentioned, for the first time Termination.
He said:" Are you going to be one of those people who terminate the pregnancy?". And I did not even think it was a possibility in Texas at 19 weeks.. He said we had until 24 weeks I believe. So we had some thinking to do.
MOURNING
we drove home. We did not go to work. We could not. We cried all day and did some research online.
We also got in contact to meet with a neurosurgeon so he can explain the situation. And we cried again.
We watched videos online of children with Spina Bifida. I found a group on Babycenter.com for parents of children with Spina Bifida and I started reading their comments, look at pictures. And then I became a member and I posted about our situation. And very quickly we had tons of replies, of parents who go through the same thing.
We cried some more. Because at this point though, before reading all those parents' experiences, I thought we would have to terminate the pregnancy. And that was terrible. I had been feeling my baby move in my womb for a few weeks now. She started at 17 weeks, on July 3rd. And now I have to get rid of her? That was just too much.
My family is telling me this is best for everybody and I can't even imagine having to go through this process.
The next day, I cried some more. All day. Mike went to work.
I read those parents replies to me and I started becoming hopeful. The MFM told us the lesion was low, probably sacral, so S1 to S5. I started being hopeful and we did more and more research and more and more talking to other parents online. We finally started to think that it would be hard but we could do it.
The following Monday we met Dr. W. at Childrens hospital in Dallas and he explained what we had mostly read all week. That it is a snowflake condition and no 2 SB child is alike. He explained all the possibilities, the good ones and the bad ones, the chances of each happening, and his capabilities of "fixing" things. And we liked him a lot.
Dr. W. Scheduled an MRI the very next day. And I made the mistake to talk to the radiologist right after. And she crushed me.
I saw my baby move in my womb on the video, and I saw her Chiari malformation right when I entered the room. I knew it was low, and bad. And that is exactly what she said. She looked at me and she said:"It's bad, it's really bad. And she kept looking at me like I was a desperate case. She asked if we had other children, and I said it was our first. Again, she looked at me like I was that that hopeless case. I went back to work devastated. With no hope, back on the road thinking about Termination being the "right" solution for everybody.
The next day I met Dr. W. who put my mind at ease. He said her lesion was higher: L3 to S5 like the radiologist told me, but he also said that the chiari is low yes. But it really does not mean anything. He said it can be low and big and have no symptoms, and sometimes it is minor and symptoms are numerous. He said there is no way to tell in advance. He mentioned some symptoms, such as breathing, sleep apnea, gagging, ... . He said sometimes He can do a decompression and it can help, sometimes it wont. Some kids need a breathing tube for a little while, some need a feeding tube, but all should be temporary. Big chiari symptoms are rare. But it happens.
I called my husband, I told him what he said and we had hope again.
We decided to keep our baby and we decided we were not changing our mind anymore. That was it.
I bought dinner on my way home with a piece of cake for each of us. I told him we were having a baby and that IS IT. And we finally could be at peace with our decision.
Today, we are 30 weeks pregnant. And we are still preparing and reading a lot about the possibilities. We try to be as educated and as ready as we can be.
We have visited the NICU, we have a date for the C-section. And Melody will be brought to this world on November 30th 2017. At 39 weeks exactly.
We know it is going to be a rough road but it is what it is. Like Mike said, we don't have children. This will be our new normal.
Here is Melody at 28 weeks 4 days.
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